Well, people’s favourite Tom Cruise and Elisabeth Moss are rumored to be dating. Cruise, clearly, is the all-star celebrity of Top Gun who supposedly has not seen his daughter over five years afterwards she had been tagged a “suppressive person” from the creepy thugs who dictate his spiritual beliefs.
Moss, meanwhile, apparently sees no irony in starring on a TV series about a mysterious future commanded by oppressive cult leaders while at precisely the exact same time pledging devotion to a spiritual organization that has been accused of human trafficking and profiting from slave labour.
Yes, both Cruise and Moss are dedicated Scientologists, so we should probably watch footage of the public appearances together, as she might be attempting to send us rescue directions by massaging her eyes in Morse code.
“Elisabeth has understood Tom forever since they belong to the Church of Scientology,” a source near the alleged bunch tells OK! magazine.
She had no thought saying would return to Tom and it’d bring them together”
The source goes on to assert that marriage and kids are in the cards for both Moss and Cruise:
“That is Tom for you,” says the insider.
“He doesn’t sit on things – he’s a go-getter. When he makes a decision, he’s on it. And he’s decided he’s in love with Elisabeth.”
Oh, that irrepressible go-getter Tom.
Whether it’s the lead role in a blockbuster film, or attaining galactic oneness by cleansing his soul of alien contaminants, nothing stands between the actor and what he wants.
And these what he wants is Elisabeth Moss!
Moss has been unlucky in love in the past, having gotten divorced from Fred Armisen back in 2011.
At one point, she was rumored to be dating Mad Men co-star Jon Hamm, but that relationship seems to have fizzled.
While we’re sure both experiences were discouraging, we’d like to take this opportunity to publicly encourage Moss to go back to either of those men, or — for that matter — literally any man on the planet who is not named Tom Cruise and does not belong to the Church of Scientology.
With that said, best of luck, you crazy kids!